Sunday, January 22, 2017

Presidential Election Flowchart for Liberals

I'm posting this flowchart just in case any of my liberal friends forget how it's done, although at this point you should know it by heart:

1. Forget about voting for any third parties, even if they're the only ones who embody your values. "Nader, dontcha know. Can't let the Republicans win."
2. Get excited about a Democratic candidate who seems to actually not be a sociopath.
3. Watch helplessly as Democratic Party hacks cheat your candidate out of the nomination.
4. Vote for the candidate foisted on you by those very same Party hacks.
5. Watch helplessly as that candidate loses the general election.
6. Search for a scapegoat: Greens, deplorables, Putin, Assange. Almost anyone (except you) will do.
7. Go to a demonstration.
8. Go home.

And that's all there is to it. (You're welcome.)